Manchester United + alternative business cards (injuries edition)
if magic isn’t real then how do you explain
It hardens because the chocolate cools on the cold ice cream. Put a bottle in the fridge and wait. It’ll be a hunk of chocolate
no i’m pretty sure it’s magic it even says “magic” on the bottle and it’s got a snazzy turtle in a hat a magician would wear with a magic wand
My math teacher called me average.
Shirt I saw while souvenir shopping
i must have this shirt
"There there, I’m sorry I scared you. *pats and kisses* you’re a good dog, good dog."
— Marilyn Monroe (via feellng)
my head is hurting because i thought about my future for 0.3 seconds
if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away
— R.J Anderson, Ultraviolet (via hiswordssplashedmewithstars)
Found a better use for the wine glasses
That’s a martini glass
I’m literally using it for milk and cookies does it look like I care about the finer points of debauchery